Stan Lee's Guide to Creative Insults

Or, who says comics aren't educational?  Stan seemed to have an inexhaustible thesaurus of put-downs, aspersions and invectives:

I can tell you for a fact that was the first time I ever heard the word "dolt", and it was certainly a useful addition to a teenager's vocabulary.

Clod was not unknown to me, but prefaced with "worthless, insufferable" really makes it work as a taunt.

Okay, so maybe he overused "insufferable".  But did you know that an escutcheon is the shield on which a coat of arms is displayed?  It can also be the distribution of pubic hair (!) although I doubt that's what Stan meant in this case.

Doom, of course, was the Doctor of Disdain, the Sultan of Scorn, the Ottoman of Opprobrium.  But many other villains mastered the alliteration of aspersion as well:

However, that's not to say that the Marvel heroes were incapable of creative contumely:

I'm looking around for an example of my personal favorite insult; "costumed cretin" but not finding it quickly.  Anybody?  Anybody?  Bueller?

Update: Another classic, courtesy of Flodo:

Update II: Costumed cretin as mentioned by an anonymous commenter, from Avengers Annual #1:

Letting the Hulk Out of the Bag

As I have discussed in the past, the secret identity thing could be considered a fate not quite as bad as death. That is, because even the dullest reader in the Silver Age pretty quickly realized that the main hero in a comic never died no matter how close he came (or somehow came back to life after a brief period of time), the secret identity reveal became something that could credibly happen and cost the hero quite a bit as he would either have to retire or create a new identity.

Of course, the problem is that editors back then did not want to create new identities for their established heroes. Oh, they might tease us with it occasionally, and sometimes (e.g., with Superman) more than occasionally, but the story would end in one of a few ways: the discoverer would be conned into thinking that somehow he had gotten it wrong, would suffer amnesia, or would die by the end of the story. On exceedingly rare occasions, the discoverer would turn out to be trustworthy and keep the secret.

Even Marvel was not above using the secret identity revealed "teaser":

In that instance, Peter Parker had the flu and fought so terribly that everybody who watched the removal of his mask ended up believing that he had just pretended to be Spiderman. That's why Tales to Astonish #77 stands out as something new:

And it was no tease; inside, Rick Jones, convinced that Bruce Banner is dead, reveals his secret to Major Talbot:

And not only did Major Talbot not die, but Rick went on to tell Betty Ross, Banner's girlfriend:

You know the old joke? Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead. Well, with Rick and Talbot and Betty knowing about Bruce Banner being the Hulk, it isn't long before the word gets pretty widespread:

Even the President finds out:

And so the Hulk becomes the first superhero to have his "secret" identity widely revealed.

Note: The Fantastic Four and Doctor Strange never really had secret identities (although in the Strange Tales series it is strongly implied that nobody knows Johnny Storm is the Human Torch), and the Elongated Man decided to let everybody know his real identity of Ralph Dibny voluntarily.

And On the Third Issue, He Arose Again...

I have talked a little bit about death and resurrection in the past.  Lightning Lad was one of the first major instances of it involving a hero in the DC universe, at least where the resurrection was not immediate.

But in the Silver Age, Marvel seemed to be the place where corpses got up and walked on a regular basis (especially villains), and so I thought I would try to catalog all of their examples.  Of course, an undertaking like this is going to require the assistance of my readers.  Although I have read virtually all of the Silver Age Marvel line, my memory's nowhere near as good as it used to be.

First up is Doctor Doom.  The Lord of Latveria apparently succumbed at the end of several of his early adventures.  For example:

Or:

And:

Let me point out here that there's actually a pretty good reason for the "death" ending; it saves the writers the necessity of explaining how the villain got out of jail.  And Doctor Doom was, in a way copying an earlier DC villain in meeting his apparent demise at the end of many of his early meetings:

And:

This last bit, with the villain falling into water, has become something of a cliche for comic writers.  It has the advantage of giving the appearance of death, combined with the uncertainty.  Plus, conveniently, it doesn't really have to be explained much in the subsequent resurrection.  See there was this pipe/cave nearby with a convenient air pocket....

Anyway, Dr Doom had more than his share of deaths in the early Marvel Age, so we'll skip over him.  The next major villain to "die" in the FF was the Puppet Master:

He returned in FF #14 and, although he apparently bit the bullet at the end of that issue, many more times as well.  One of the interesting things about that initial resurrection, though, was that Stan didn't bother to explain it.  Never mind that (as shown above), we'd seen him fall out of a skyscraper.  This would become the rule, rather than the exception.

I'm not sure if there are any other "deaths" in the Silver Age Fantastic Four, so let's move on to the Amazing Spiderman.  The only real death and resurrection I'm aware of there involves the Vulture:

The original Vulture apparently shuffles off the mortal coil shortly after that scene, although he returns in ASM #63 to battle both Spidey and Blackie Drago, his chosen successor.  I'm again not aware of any other deaths and resurrections in the Silver Age involving Spiderman, although there are some (Silvermane, for example) who died in the SA but didn't respawn until much later.

The only example of a major Marvel hero dying and not coming back for a couple of issues (a la Lightning Lad) involved Captain America.  Death here from CA #111:
Note the "falling into water" bit I mentioned earlier.  Cap's resurrection came in the first issue of his magazine that I ever bought:

I'm struggling now to think of resurrections involving other Marvel villains. About the only one that's coming to mind is the Rhino's passing from Hulk #104:

The Rhino would return along with the Leader to bedevil Bruce Banner's wedding in Hulk #124 as I covered awhile ago. Oh, the Leader, that's right, he died in Tales to Astonish #74:

And both the Leader and the Rhino appear to die at the end of Hulk #124, but we know better. The Black Widow had a couple of brushes with the Grim Reaper, as I have covered in the past. And I know the Unicorn appeared to die in Iron Man #4. Any more examples? I'm mostly interested in cases where the resurrection happened by the end of the Silver Age, simply because there are so many examples after that.

Updates: Some good suggestions in the comments section: The Mandarin's castle was hit by an ICBM in ToS #86:

But he returned with a reasonable explanation:

Multi-dimensional teleportation device. Don't leave home without it! The Mandarin also shuffled off the mortal coil in Avengers Annual #1:

And, as my anonymous commenter noted, he returned in the Hulk #107 with no particular explanation. MDTD, I suppose?

Titanium Man learned the fate of Silver medalists in the old Soviet Union:

But he returned ten issues later, this time apparently supported by the Red Chinese. The Red Skull drowned at the end of ToS #81, weighed down by a suit of golden armor:

He returned in ToS #89 with the explanation that the Cosmic Cube's power kept him alive. Hat tip to Nick Caputo on that one. The Red Skull biffed it again in ToS #91:

The explosion death was also popular, because it can be argued that we missed seeing something due to the flash. The Skull returned in Cap #101:

The Stilt Man shriveled up like Dr Doom up above in DD #8:

When the Leap-Frog asked him about his apparent death, Stilty was rather terse, replying, "You seem to have an uncanny knack for being wrong."

Another commenter pointed out that Magneto died in X-Men #53 and returned in X-Men #62; I can't find those issues at the moment to post panels.

Observations: One thing seems apparent; the villains who "die" on multiple occasions but return just as often tend to be Marvel's top antagonists; Dr Doom, the Mandarin, the Red Skull and the Leader are all on the short list of major baddies.

Update II: Diablo took a dirt nap thanks to his android, the Dragon Man, in FF #35:

He returned in Avengers #41, with the explanation that he owed his survival to alchemy.

Hawkeye Versus Captain America

As I have discussed in the past, heroic characters in the Golden and Silver Age for the most part didn't require a motivation. They fought against crime and injustice simply because they were heroes. This is part of what makes Batman and Spiderman so unique; they did have strong personal motivations. Hawkeye, on the other hand, did have a motivation, but it was an odd one: He wanted the acclaim that comes along with being a hero. Remember, the first we see him is when he's simply a carnival side-show act:

When a carnival ride goes haywire, Iron Man appears to save the passengers, and Hawkeye experiences the green-eyed monster:

So he puts together a uniform and some gadget arrows and goes into the hero business. But things go off the rails almost immediately, as the cops mistake him for the accomplice of a smash and grab artist. While getting away, he is picked up by the Black Widow, who recruits him to the cause of international peace:

Which turned out to mostly involve attacking Tony Stark's industrial plants.

Awhile later, after the apparent death of the Black Widow, Hawkeye decided to try out for the Avengers. He showed his suitability for the team by breaking into their HQ and tying up Jarvis:

But as it happened, the Avengers were in no position to turn down new recruits, as in that same issue, Iron Man, Thor, and Giant Man all decide to take a leave of absence from the team. Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch, reluctant former members of the gang of Evil Mutants also join up, with Captain America assuming the leadership role. It was this last factor which grated on Hawkeye:

And over the next year or two, Hawkeye frequently bickered with Captain America, questioning both his decisions and his right to command the group. Indeed, it often seemed as though the only reason Steve Rogers kept his position was because Quicksilver also wanted to lead and the Scarlet Witch, with the deciding vote, formed a crush on Cap. Oh, and no particular surprise, Hawkeye didn't have the noblest of reasons for wanting to run the show; he sometimes admitted to himself that he just wanted the glory of being known as the leader of the Avengers.

There was another aspect of the quarrel between Hawkeye and Cap that was interesting. Despite appearing physically the same age, Cap was from a different generation. Hawkeye was brash and arrogant, while Rogers was cautious and a bit stodgy.

At first, I confess that I found their verbal jousting a bit tedious. Stan Lee's arguing characters tended never to resolve their differences. JJJ always hated Spiderman and the feeling was mutual. The Thing constantly bickered with Johnny and Reed.

But then a funny thing started to happen. Gradually, over a period of several years, we began to perceive that Hawkeye was starting to appreciate Captain America. Here's a hint of it:

And when Hawkeye failed to stop Powerman and the Swordsman from escaping because he didn't want to risk hurting the Black Widow, we got this scene:

That's characterization done right, because it's positive for both characters. We see Cap's understanding and Hawkeye's guilt at having treated him badly. In the next issue, Cap agrees when Hawkeye asks to tackle the Widow and her henchmen alone.

And while Hawkeye did not give up the occasional jibes about Captain America being Methuselah, you definitely began to get the feeling that it was pro-forma; that there was no real antipathy between the pair.  It was a nice moment of growth and change.

Amazing Spiderman #2: Get a Job

Peter finds a solution to his aunt's financial problems in this issue, which also introduces the first of the major villains in Spiderman's rogue's gallery: The Vulture. As you can see from the cover above, he falls into the category of villains who facially resemble the animal after which they're named. Some others Silver Age examples include the Shark, a Green Lantern antagonist and the Clock, a Green Arrow baddie.

As the story begins, we see the Vulture making off with a fortune in bonds. J. Jonah Jameson wants photos of him:

I believe that's the only time that NOW magazine is ever mentioned in the Silver Age Spiderman; in all other stories Jameson is a newspaper man, not a magazine publisher. Maybe Stan thought that a magazine would be more willing to pay big bucks for color photos?

At any rate, Peter borrows Uncle Ben's old miniature camera and decides to get a photo of the Vulture in action. Sure enough, he gets lucky the first time out:

But the Vulture overhears him and doubles back, knocking Peter out with a vicious kick. He puts him in a rooftop water tank, thinking that Spiderman will drown, but:

Peter develops the film and does some work upgrading his equipment:

I would argue that Marvel's Silver Age characters were not as well-designed as DC's initially. Their real strength came from the way they developed over time. They became better characters than DC due to the constant tinkering.

In the next segment, the Vulture has announced that he's going to rob a jewelry shipment. The police have sharpshooters on the rooftops and a helicopter overhead. How can he pull it off?

I thought that was really cool the first time I read it as a kid and it's still impressive.

Using his spider-sense, Peter is able to locate the Vulture, who again tries the loop around gimmick. But this time Spidey's ready:

This is another one of those "I only meant for you to die," moments that Stan seemed to enjoy scripting.

Somehow Spiderman has disabled the Vulture's wings. Peter uses his web fluid to swing to safety, while the Vulture manages to slow his plummet to a nearby rooftop by spiraling downward. He lets the cops do the actual arrest, just snapping a few more pix. As for how he stopped the crook, he explains here:

As Dr Who would say, just reverse the polarity!

The second story is definitely an oddball in the Spiderman saga, as it is the only story involving aliens. However, this fits very well with the Marvel pattern, as most of the Silver Age heroes found themselves up against other world menaces in their second issue: the FF, Iron Man and the Avengers, for example.

Peter gets an assignment to work with one of the sharpest electronics minds around, Dr Cobbwell. But his first task doesn't require a lot of brainpower:

Of course vacuum tubes in radios were about to go out with the advent of transistors. Peter senses some weird electronic emanations coming from the basement of the radio repair shop, and later he realizes that the same emanations are coming from the repaired radio at Dr Cobbwell's. So he decides to pay another visit to the Tinkerer in his costumed identity.

Eventually the aliens capture him but he escapes and foils their plans for invasion, so they leave.


Update: The aliens concept doesn't seem well-suited to Spiderman, just as it was inappropriate to Batman. Although both faced major-league criminals and super-villains, they also dealt with the low-level hoods. This is not all that surprising as both lost relatives to common street thugs.